Corporations are people, too?

This post originated as a response to Khaled's post about whether corporations, non-profits, trees or mountains could be considered people. I ended up liking what I wrote and didn't want to lose track of it, so it is copied here. Give it a read, and please comment if you like. I think the definition of personhood is an interesting topic and I welcome your thoughts:

When I was a youngster, there was a TV show called "Kids are People, Too". Every time I hear about corporations being people, it makes me want to say "Corporations are people, too!". Except that they're not, of course. Corporations are created by people, but in my opinion, they are not discrete people in and of themselves. To me, being a person means several things:

1) You have 1 (one) physical body
2) That physical body is alive (so it can't be a building)
3) That physical body has a heart, a brain, organs, blood, skin, hair,  etc, so single-celled organisms or plants don't fit the bill. Granted, animals could fit this description, but we'd have to say that to be a person, one must hail from a two-legged, two-armed species. Boom, no spiders or horses or cats as people!
4) To be a person, you must come from a species that has the facility of a human language. So, again, by this definition your dog (while adorable and absolutely a key member of the family) is not a person. Even if you like him better than some people in your family, which has certainly been my experience at times.

By more strictly defining what is human, I think most people would agree that corporations are not people. Nor are trees, cars, mountains, books, papers or cardigans.

I am surprised that the "corporations are people" ruling has lasted this long, and imagine that it cannot hold up forever. Frankly, I would much rather call my dog (or my car) a person than to call Google a person.